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Jim: “I am not crazy about shopping generally, but I don’t really mind holiday shopping. I figure she puts up with my crap all year long, so it’s my chance to do something nice and let her know I appreciate her. Choosing something she’ll really like is tough sometimes, and the fact that I’m a world-class procrastinator doesn’t help things. I try to have some fairly definite ideas about what to get, and then hit the mall early (like 8:00 a.m., usually the Saturday before Christmas) before the crowds arrive.”

Also from Jim: “Cautionary tale about a guy I used to work with: He waited until Christmas Eve to go shopping for his wife, and when he tried to check out he discovered that she had already maxed out all their credit cards! Having no cash, he came home empty handed. He was in the maison-de-pooch for quite a while.”

Dan: “My friend and I shop for our wives together every December 24. First, we hit a few bars. Then we hit some more. Just before the mall closes, we race in, buy whatever’s on the Gap mannequin in our wives’ size, and go back to drinking. Our wives get pretty pissed when they get the same outfit. But isn’t it the thought that counts?”

Ben: “I always intend to get a thoughtful, wonderful gift, not always expensive but thoughtful. Sometimes when it clicks perfectly I get the gift and surprise her with it. But sometimes when the schedule of my whacked out life is too much I miss my window and end up with a turd of a gift. I am always aware of the gift being a turd or not. Guys like to pretend they are oblivious to all of this and get to say, ‘I'm a guy, what do you expect?’ We are aware however.”

See what I mean? Young and old, sweet and not-so-much, married and unmarried, men are all alike when it comes to Christmas shopping for women. As my friend’s wise mother put it, “Lamb, they are all the same.” Indeed.
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Mike: “I typically don't like holiday shopping for my wife, but I do strive to give her thoughtful gifts. I don't wait until the last minute, but if I do the shopping too early, I always think I've shortchanged her, and end up buying a couple of more presents. The grand total is always too much (in her opinion, not mine).”

Steve: “After 14 years of marriage I have learned the value of the gift certificate. The store is never out of them. Plus it gives my wife and kids a chance to get out of the house. She has a good time as long as the kids behave. And if they don't, she can't wait to get back to the house so it's like several gifts. Either way, I get time alone. I consider myself a very thoughtful husband.”

David: “My wife never tells me what she wants so I usually get her jewelry or a gift certificate or something that she can take back. I don't hate it but it's not my idea of a fun thing to do on my day off. Sometimes I buy her gloves or something like that and a book and a gift certificate and some jewelry like gold or pearl earrings. That's it. One year I bought her a bike. That was not a good thing.”

Matt: “Yes, I hate shopping for my wife. Lingerie is returned for something more comfortable. Jewelry is greeted with an eye-roll if it isn't diamonds. Plus, it's hard to get creative at Christmas since you've been milked on birthdays, anniversaries, birth of children, etc. Shopping for the girlfriend, on the other hand, is much more enjoyable. Everything is met with wide eyes and glee. But I'm sure that will end over time also.”

John: “Usually yes, I hate shopping. However, this year we have decided to give each other ideas (not necessarily a list) so it should be much easier. Of course there will be a few surprises thrown in. Over the years though, it has been a stressful time. I think that whole Mars & Venus comes into play. She wants cleaning to be easier... a new Shop Vac oughta help. Something we can enjoy together...doesn’t a plasma TV fit the bill?”
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Pearls are never perfect. If one such is found, it is probably the rarest and the most expensive. Because pearls follow the general shape of its irritant or nucleus, it can come in a variety of shapes, from the spherical to the symmetrical to the baroque. Which one you pick for your pearl collar will depend on your preference.

Color and overtone

White pearls are white, right? Well, not quite. Aside from the similar silver color, there are also white pearls whose main body color is affected by its overtone. Overtones are hints of color that lie on top of the main body color of the pearl. Think of a pearl as a tiny white sphere and its overtone like a slightly colored clear plastic that is wrapped tightly and smoothly over it and you can imagine how slightly different the white would appear.

White pearls could have one or more overtones. These can enhance the beauty of white pearls and provide a unique glow to its iridescent quality. Some white pearls, for example can have pink or yellow overtones. Which one you choose is really just a matter of personal taste.

Why collar necklaces?

Collar necklaces have an old-time charm. If you look at paintings and illustrations that date back some centuries ago, you will find collar necklaces adorning the necks of women, even queens and princesses.

Collar necklaces are about 12 to 13 inches long and may be composed of three or more strands of pearls. These are worn to fit the middle of the neck snugly. They are best worn during semi-formal to formal occasions when they can accentuate a slender neck and draw a stop to a pointed chin.
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Nacre thickness is probably the most important factor to consider when buying white pearls. Nacre is the crystalline/organic substance that is excreted by the oyster or mollusk when an irritant or nucleus enters its shell. This substance coats the irritant in layers, until it becomes thick. This coated irritant or nuclei becomes the pearl.

Nacre thickness differentiates a high-quality pearl from a low-grade one. The thicker the nacre coating, the more durable and long-lasting the pearl is. Pearls with thinner nacres usually do not maintain their luster over the years and may in fact chip off.

Luster refers to the reflective quality of the pearl. The pearl has a mirror-like surface and the quality of its luster is directly affected by the thickness of the nacre. The thicker it is, the deeper the shine. High-quality white pearls reflect light and the surrounding objects best.

Surface texture refers to the clearness and smoothness of the pearl. It is the near absence of imperfection on the surface. No pearl has the perfect surface, but minimum and nearly imperceptible flaws affect its overall look and value. Pearls are graded depending on its imperfections, like spots, bumps, discolorations and other irregularities that show on its surface.

The size of the pearl is determined by its diameter and is measured in millimeters. Tiny pearls measure from 1mm and under while bigger pearls can reach a diameter of as much as 20mm, just below an inch. With all things being equal, size can mean a huge difference in the value of a pearl. The bigger ones, of course, fetch the higher price.
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My best advice, much as men hate it, is to pay attention to her comments throughout the year. Has she mentioned a trendy restaurant she wants to try? Make reservations and stick a note in her stocking. Does she love Oprah? How about the TV host’s 20th anniversary DVD collection? Is she into jewelry? Freshwater cultured pearls are affordable and lovely; lavender freshwater cultured pearls are trendy and hot right now. As always, Tiffany & Co. jewelry will make her day, but if you’re short on cash, get her a few books on subjects she’s into (the thought will melt her) or burn her a mix CD of songs that remind you of her. I wouldn’t attempt making her a homemade card, though, unless you’re planning on tucking tickets to St. Baarts inside.

White pearl collar necklaces have been around for centuries. This style reached its peak during the Victorian era, where women of high birth wore them to accentuate their necks or over their high-collars to accessorize their clothes. White pearl collar necklaces have recently been making a comeback and enjoying a new popularity with stylish women of all ages.

White pearls are a favorite of women in the U.S. In Asia, women prefer silver-colored pearls. White has always been the color associated with pearls, even though they do come in a variety of shades and tones. White has remained a favorite over the years because of their simple and understated elegance.

Choosing pearl quality

One of the rarer pearls and the more expensive are natural pearls, produced ‘by accident’ when underwater irritants enter the shell of an oyster. Cultured pearls are the more common, since they are created using artificially planted ‘nuclei’. They are in no way inferior to natural pearls and in fact are quite valuable; they are just produced differently.

When choosing fine white pearls, remember several factors that contribute to its beauty and value: the nacre thickness, luster, surface texture, size and shape.
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Girls’ Survival Strategy

So what’s a girl to do? Much as we hate it, the best way to get exactly what we want is to spell it out, leaving no stone unturned. Give him specifics: List the URL or store location, price, color, size and SKU. This strategy ruins the surprise, sure, but at least you won’t end up with a leather thong or a CD of heavy metal monster ballads.

Another option is to have a good friend call your man and say, “Hey, if you’re stuck about what to get your wife/girlfriend this Christmas, we were shopping last week and she mentioned she’d love to have X. Thought you’d want to know.”

Or, do as my friend Annie does and buy things for yourself, have them gift-wrapped, ship them to your home, and send him the bill.

The last option is to do what I do: Hope and pray that this year will finally be different and that he’ll spend a lot of time and effort searching for the perfect present that will show how wild he is about me and how well he really knows the inner me.

With expectations like that, it’s no wonder I’m always bawling on Christmas morning.

Pointers for Men

For men with women who refuse to tell them what they want (and yes, darling boyfriend, if you’re reading this it applies to you too), there are a few staples that make most women happy. They are: a beautiful full-length coat (hint: if she’s a vegan, skip the fur and leather), diamond or pearl jewelry, tickets to an island getaway or a gift certificate to her favorite clothing store.
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